Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My Journey


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"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3,4
Vulnerability with others allows the brokeness of one person to impact and effect others. Through Jesus Christ, I pray for strength to overcome an insecurity of body image, help others, and achieve lasting victory through Him. I was inspired to make a blog because of my small group that I co-lead. We are studying a book by Beth Moore, called "So Long Insecurities." We talk about our insecurities and the healing process. And well one of my many insecurities that I struggle with is body image. Ever since high school my weight has gone up and down about 20 lbs. I can lose weight just as easily as I can gain weight. In high school I was oblivious to my weight. As I started a period of 'woman development,' I gained weight for two years and then I got my first real boyfriend and lost the weight to where I was the thinnest I had ever been. I didn't even realize my size because I was so consumed with having a boyfriend. Some started becoming worried that I was too skinny. It wasn't like I was trying to lose weight, it was just that my mind was consumed with a boyfriend, so I didn't ever think about eating. Right before college, my boyfriend and I broke up. Being an extremely social person I started college without a social niche and immediately fell into a minor depression. In addition, I was still struggling with the breakup of my boy friend. I tried to turn to God as best as I could, but I wasn't patient enough to let Him work in my life so I began to turn to other things. The first semester of college, I noticed that I started to gain weight and it was because I didn't really give much thought to what I was eating and didn't have something else to occupy my time. College consisted of lunch and dinner dates with friends. I started to become aware of what I was eating and started dieting. I started cutting back on everything, and all the deprivation of food caused me to go through spells where I would eat nothing and then eat a lot and then work out a lot and then diet. It was a vicious cycle. Gaining and losing the weight and then gaining even more weight because I did a diet that only lasted for two weeks and well you get the picture. Anyways, since my freshmen year I have had a constant struggle with the weight I've gained and lost, literally losing and gaining 15-20 lbs. I begged God to give me the desire to desire Him so much that my mind was on Him and not anything else. Well after 4 years, though God has really grown me spiritually and the situation has definitely gotten better, I continue to struggle with body image. This past January, I went to a Christian Passion conference and this is where God changed my life. I had been living a routine Christian life. It was dull and to me it was a list of do's and don'ts, but after this conference, I came back with a passion and fire for God so strong it left me glowing. He changed my life in so many ways and now is working in me to get rid of this insecurity I have, along with many other girls. I used to have a HUGE sweet tooth before the conference, but God completely took it away. AMAZING. I am already a fairly healthy eater because of the way I was raised, but I'm to the point where I want everything I do to COMPLETELY honor God, so that includes treating my body as a Holy Temple for Him. That's why I decided to do the Maker's Diet, which follows eating and drinking habits of the Bible. What I want out of this is to grow closer to God, desire Him and His life for me, treat my body as if it were His, be healthier, feel better, lose weight, and overcome an insecurity. Sounds like quite a lot, but I have faith that this is the beginning of a wonderful journey with Jesus Christ who has the power to heal anyone, both mentally, spiritually, and physically.
So this is where the title comes in, I SURRENDER-I surrender to my heavenly Father and give Him my life and want Him to transform my mind, thoughts and actions to imitate His. I can't do it alone, and only Christ will give me the strength and the will power.
This is my hope for you all- for you all to travel this journey with me and see my struggles and vulnerabilities and see how God brings Victory. It may take more time than just the Maker's Diet to see full victory, but I know for a fact God will do it. I will struggle and fall sometimes, but by God's grace alone he will uphold me with his hand. I hope that through my journey, you all will be able to see that it is possible through God to overcome any insecurity that you may have. It may even take you hitting rock bottom first before you turn  to Jesus. No matter how big or small your insecurity, know that Jesus Christ will rescue you. I'm praying for each and every one of you that reads this. Know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and don't EVER let anyone tell you otherwise.

So what is the Maker's Diet?

God hand crafted every person. Every detail, every hair, you name it. He loves you and has called you to live a life that is pleasing and gloriflying to Him.

<>< I Surrender

2 comments:

  1. Wow Sasha this is really amazing that you are dedicating your life to this. I am praying for you through this and love you. It's so amazing to see how God is working in your life.

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  2. Thanks Julz. It means a lot to know that you are praying for and supporting me. :)

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